When My Time Comes
by poisonedbirth
Summary: AH, AU. Bella is a depressed, lost soul. Alice is her best friend, the one fighting for her. But it might be too late. One-shot. Written for my best friend.


**I wrote this for my best friend, who needs to realize that even though she's hurting - I'm here for her. All her friends are here for her. And them and I love her so much.  
**

**Noone is ever really alone.**

**Every person who decides to end their life; they leave behind someone who cares about them. And them leaving breaks them.**

**Any flames will be automatically deleted.  
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_I dreamed I was missing._

_You were so scared._

_But no one would listen. _

'_Cause no one else cared._

_RING RING! RING RING!_

"_Hi, this is Bella. Please leave your message after the.."_

I banged the phone shut.

_Shit!_ She wasn't answering her phone.

She hadn't been answering her calls or texts for the past hour.

I was really worried about her, but nobody seemed to realize what she was capable of.

Or even what she was feeling.

"Relax, Alice. I'm pretty sure she's sleeping or just out late." Emmett tried to calm me down.

"But what if she's not? What if she's done something to herself? Damnit! We do we have to be abroad at a time like this?" I whimpered.

_After my dreaming,_

_I woke with this fear_

_What am I leaving_

_When I'm done here?_

Walking around the streets of Forks, Washington on my own.

I looked at my reflection in a puddle.

Alice. No, she can't possible understand what I'm going through.

Sure, she's gone through her fair share of pain.

But she doesn't _understand._

She won't miss me. I'm leaving nothing behind.

Everything will be better without me.

_When my time comes,_

_Forget the wrong that I've done._

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

Sitting on the floor of my bedroom, I laid out all the utensils I needed.

Everything in my life has been a complete failure.

Every mistake I made, I could only hope that every one forgot about them.

I could only hope that when I was gone, people would find some good in me.

Miss me, in a good light and not in a bad one.

_Don't resent me,_

_And when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory._

_Bella. Bella. Bella._

I chanted thoroughly in my head.

God knows what she was doing right now.

She could be in pain; emotional, physical. Take your pick.

But I couldn't help, she was reluctant to take my help.

I wish that she would see how much I love her and realize that even though she is sad or depressed or feeling low in her life right now - I am and will always be here for her.

Always.

_Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest._

_Don't be afraid._

_I've taken my beating._

_I've shed, but I'm me._

Everything would be better from now on.

I'm changing.

I will be gone.

Everyone can finally be happy without me.

They don't need to be afraid for me.

This is what I want.

This is what I need.

_I'm strong on the surface,_

_Not all the way through._

_I've never been perfect, _

_But neither have you._

All this time, I've been strong for everyone.

Pretending that I'm happy and that everything is okay.

Or just showing my true emotions, but saying I never wanted to talk about it.

I've never been perfect daughter.

I wish my mother could just see that I'm not who she thinks I am.

She doesn't realize how much of what she says affects me.

_When my time comes,_

_Forget the wrong that I've done._

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.  
_

Looking through pictures from my childhood, I let a sad smile escape.

The good days, when everything was simple.

Nothing was that simple anymore.

Let's face it, nobody would miss me.

_Don't resent me._

_And when you're feeling empty,_

_Keep me in your memory._

I had burst into tears at this point.

Not knowing where Bella was.

Sure, there was hope that she could wake up and see all the missed calls and millions of texts I sent her.

But then, there was the possibility of her never waking up to see them.

She fails to see how much I love and care for her.

If she died, my heart would be broken, and I would never be the same.

_Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest._

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learnt to hide so well._

All those times. Why didn't I do something better to help her?

I could have helped, talked more.

_Made _her see that she wasn't alone.

_Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself._

Never once did I imagine it would come to this.

So much hurt inside, not even painkillers could help at this point.

I always hoped Alice could save me or make me feel a little bit better.

Of course, she did.

But nothing could save me from my fate.

_I can't be who you are._

I cried myself to sleep that night, hoping she would be awake the next day.

Next Day:

I woke up, no calls back, no texts back.

I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed.

I reached for the TV remote which was on the bedside table, turning the TV on; hoping to distract myself.

I turned on the news and what I saw shocked me.

My best friend.

She actually did it.

I burst into tears and fell into a black hole.

_When my times comes,_

_Forget the wrong that I've done._

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

I was floating, a spirit soaring towards the sky.

I felt light, refreshed, happy.

I was finally free from the hell that was my life.

No more worries, fears or tears.

Everything would be okay now.

I'm free.

_Don't resent me,_

_And when you're feeling empty,_

_Keep me in your memory._

_Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest._

I tried to keep standing as I watched my best friends grave lower into the ground.

Friends held my hands tightly.

But nothing felt right anymore.

My best friend was _gone._

And I was broken.

Nothing would ever be the same.

_Forgetting all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well._

_Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself._

_I can't be who you are._

_I can't be who you are._


End file.
